Giggity Girl – Laura Vandervoort (Giggity Greg)

Fat People That Look Like Animals (Muff Slap)

Gorilla Mask – Spank Bank: Theresa Correa (Gorilla Mask)

Oregon DUI Cheerleader Molly (Busted Coverage)

25 Well Trimmed Bushes (Holy Taco)

Star Wars Embedded Into American History (Caveman Circus)

EXCLUSIVE: Bachelor Villain Rozlyn Papa Purple Crayon Sex Tape (The Dirty)

Update:

OK. I’ve watched 6 times and still can’t get over it. Don’t know what to think. I’m lost

Update 2:

Ugh. She just seems so happy… I’m a fan now, but who knew midgets were so quite?

Update:

Lame. They took the video down. So I’ll make up with this. Mickey Rourke’s acceptance speech.

For first time listeners, I recommend podcast 24.

Sorry, show footage got lost. So play on playa!

Measurements

• Bust: 32″ c
• Waist: 25″
• Hips: 32″
• Height: 5 feet 5 inches
• Weight: 110 lbs

Credits

Photos: Andy Le

Someone get this guy an Amber Lamps.

Update

Chuck’s almost slutty valentine.

This is idiot was shocked by 138,000 volts trying to steal some copper for weed and rent money.

At least he got a free $50,000 wheel chair out of it. Now he is definitely employable.

Hoover Vs. Spain Park Basketball Brawl: How About A Straight Right White Boy? (Busted Coverage)

8 Hilariously Awful PSAs (Regretful Morning)

Hot Girlfriend Shamelessly Promotes Sketchers (Tasty Booze)

Quarterbacks Getting Tackled by Invisible Players (Holy Taco)

A Single Guy’s Guide to Getting Laid on Valentine’s Day (Muff Slap)

The 50 Funniest Google Search Suggestions Of All Time (Manofest)

Some People Shouldn’t Play Drinking Games (Cracked)

Measurements

• Bust: 34″ D
• Waist: 26″
• Hips: 36″
• Height: 5 feet 7 inches
• Weight: 112 lbs

What made you get into modeling?

A friend of mine actually used to work for Ford Models, and he asked me to do a photo shoot, which I thought was total joke. I said “Sure, I’ll try it.” I tried it and it was awkard and weird, but I ended doing it and loving it and having fun.

How long have you been doing modeling?

Just about a year and a half.

What is your favorite football team?

Definitely the Greenbay Packers, because I’m from Wisconsin. Currently its been kind of a rough season. Brett Farve is with one of our rivals, that I hate, the Vikings. Its hard to talk about because I get angery. I feel like Brett Farve was part of me, he was part of the packers for as long as I can remember. Then he just leaves the packers and goes to the vikings. I honestly feel like him and I had something special and broke up with me and got with my worst enemy. I hope they get creamed today by the Saints.

Are you completely shaved?

Are you completely shaved? Ok yeah, actually I am too. Putting it all out there.

What is the worst place a guy has hit on you, like lets say a funeral?

I went with one of my girlfriends to meet her boyfriend and he ended up hitting on me.

What is the strangest place you have ever had sex?

That I am willing to share with you guys. The strangest place would probably be in the driver seat while my little friend was driving. He was driving and I was chillin’. It was wild, but it was fun. I was kind of hoping he was speeding so when we got the pictures taken you would be able to see it.

What’s the hardest part of being a hot babe?

Oh boy, I guess when creepy guys hit on you, like really creepy ways. Me and my friends have been walking down Mill before, and this homeless guy came up to me and telling me how hot I would be if I was on the Discovery channel.

What is your best physical feature?

I would have to say the thing I get the most compliments on are the girls (points to boobs). I don’t really agree. I like my legs, I think I have decent legs.

How do you get around farting in public?

I don’t, girls don’t do that. End of story.

Are your breasts real or implants and how big are they?

They are real and they are 34 D’s.

What is your smallest fear?

Creepy places! Like when I think I’m in the ghetto, usually I’m not. I’m always freaking out, like “Is this the ghetto?! Should I be scared?!”

You just won a million dollars, whats the first thing you would buy?

Probably a Porsche 911 Twin Turbo.

What is the creepiest text you have ever received?

I actually got one the other night. I was actually at a bar on Mill and he was 10 people away from me and he knew we were there and I get a text from him saying, this is so dirty, “I want to be playing inside you right now.” I didn’t know what to say. I felt really creeped out. First of all if you really want to say that to me, walk 10 feet over and say it to me. Then he ended up creeping on my roomate later that night.

What are the advantages of having really big boobs?

Ok, I know a lot of disadvantages. Definitely running, I can’t go to the gym with out 10 sports bras and that still doesn’t help very much. At the same time you definitely get more attention, which can be a good or bad thing depending on who its from. I think boobs are so over rated. I’m not really going to complain but if I had smaller ones I could definitely be a much better runner. I don’t like to go braless at all and with little ones its just easier. You don’t have to worry about stuff flying all over.

Whats your favorite animal and why?

Definitely horses because I love them. I had them in high school. They took up all my time. I did some speed stuff and barrel races. Two of my best friends had horse so we were always out riding together.

Do you play Call of Duty on the 360 or the PC?

I played once in my whole life and I don’t know what it was playing on. I like Nintendo Wii and thats about the extent of my video gaming. I’m pretty awesome at Guitar Hero, but only on medium.

On a night out how long does it take you to get ready?

Ok, that depends, because if I have to shower and dry my hair and get ready then it takes me about an hour. If I’m all showered and just have to do my hair and make up it only takes me about 15-20 minutes. I like to think I’m pretty quick.

What kind of girl were you growing up?

I had three brothers. So I was always in trying to keep up with them. So I was never a super girly girl, but I was never a tom boy either. I tried to keep up with my brothers and I think that made me tougher. I can handle guys pretty well. I had my girl stuff, I had ponies and tea parties.

Want to be a Bad Melons Babe of the Month? Email babes@badmelons.com

Host: Cory

Photos: Andy Le

Video: Melo

22 Things To Do To Your Friends When They Pass Out Drunk (Caveman Circus)

29 Dangerously Overloaded Vehicles (Fork Party)

Facebook Bingo (Holy Taco)

29 Pictures of Babes In Star Wars Gear (Regretful Morning)

World’s Tallest Man Meets World’s Shortest Man (Asylum)

What You Need in Your Home Bar (Man Made)

The Beard is King. 10 MMA Fighters With Awesome Beards (Big Smudge)

30 Pics of Shaq’s Mistress, Dominica Westling (Total Pro Sports)

25 Hot Chicks With Fists In Their Mouths (Holy Taco)

Parked car vs sledding girl (Regretful Morning)

One Hell of a Job Fair in China (Uncoached)

Tonight I was going out to work to finish up a report. Its a nice cool night and I took the 335i. Well, I was in the slow lane and I see a set of HID lights pull up on my rear bumper fast! WTF?!? It changes lanes and it was a murdered out 350Z. Pretty much he was jabbing at his throttle getting me to run. I just stayed in the slow lane and cruised. After a minute or so of trying the driver side window rolls down and some idiot sticks his hand out and gives me a thumbs down. The guy zooms off and begins weaving through traffic.

I keep my pace and he gets stuck behind traffic. Again I am side by side with this clown and he again tries to get me to run. Well, I end up getting ahead of him, he changes lanes, and he begins to ride my ***. He was so close that I couldnt even see his headlights anymore. That’s 1. I take a exit and he follows. Perfect. I call in to my co-worker who was on beat and told him to position himself should this idiot follow me into my city. My lane splits into 2 lanes and he gets beside me. The driver looks over and says,” Hey *****.. lets see what that over priced piece of **** can do.” and begins revving his engine. The light turns green and he peels out. That’s 2.

Speed limit is 35 and he is doing about 50+. That’s 3. The next light turns red and we end up next to each other again. Once again I get the verbal abuse. Driver: “Come on *****. I will smoke your ***.” The Passenger: “What a ***king *****.” I turn to them and said,” You never know.. there might be cops around.” Not sure who said it but I heard ” ***k the police”. The light turns red and he burns out again. That’s 4.

My bluetooth goes off and its my partner working beat. I roll up my window and answer my phone. I have him a description of the car and he said he was ready. Light turns green and he sees my partner who has his unit sticking out behind a safeway store and right when he passed my buddy lit his *** up. He pulls over and I pull in behind my buddy and put on my bullet proof vest that was in my trunk.

As my partner backed me up, I went up to the car and identified myself as the police and both of them were in shock. I got his driver license, registration, and insurance. He didn’t say anything. I grabbed one of my buddy’s cites n hit him up for speeding, exhibition of speed- 2 counts, tinted driver and passenger side windows, and Exhaust. As I filled out the cite I told my buddy to take them out of the car and to tell the driver that his car was getting towed as well.

I went up to the driver and explained to him what I was citing him for and that the Exhibition of Speed was a misdemeanor though we weren’t going to arrest him but his car was now mine. He broke down and started to cry!!! Started whimpering and saying ” I have finals tomorrow sir! How am I going to get to work?” “Please don’t take my car!” The kid was 18 years old and he had to call his dad to pick him up. Needless to say the dad wasn’t happy. Tow truck came and took the car. Pretty much he’s going to have to pay around 400 bucks to get the car back.

I felt no pity. So lesson is, don’t go picking races with people because you never know who you might run into. This kid learned the hard way.

Source

Audio in the video goes out half way through but comes back after a couple minutes. The audio version is 100%, so listen to that so you don’t miss a word.

What a douche.

I meant to say facebook.com/badmelons at the end of the show.

Update: My fish has died

Shaping this behavior requires you to have a feeder stick and a hoop. Both items can be made on your own.

1) Feed it when it approaches the hoop
2) Feed it when it bumps its head on the hoop
3) Slowly increase the distance that it has to move the hoop
4) Try not to vary the position that you want it to bring it to.

This behavior took me many trials spread over many days to shape. Sometimes it’s a lot of waiting for the fish to do something so it is time consuming and requires patience.

Here goes…

If you’ve been following my social anxiety thread you would have learned that I got an asian girls number during my last update (the encounter wasn’t recorded unfortunetely because my Camera froze). But anyway, it’s been over a week and I was feeling like taking a break from exam studying, and I figured that if I didn’t call her before exams were done then I wouldn’t get a chance to see her until after the break (which would be too long perhaps). So I called her up and asked her if she wanted to take a break from studying and meet me for coffee. Well she said yes, and we met at a campus cafe. We had some small talk, and it went well overall. After that she said “hey my roomate is making some chinese food for dinner because her boyfriend is over, would you like to come by and try some? she usually makes way more than needed”. Now at that point I felt like I had to take a sh!t, but there was no way I could turn down this opportunity; it seemed like she was into me and this would be a great opportunity to get to know each other further. So I decided to try and hold my crap as long as possible (I don’t crap in public toilets) and accept her invitation.

I pull down my pants step up to the toilet and I am then faced with an ominous predicament; I have to extremely badly take BOTH a pee AND a POO…. AND I have an erection…. what the **** do I do? Which do I do first??

So I bend over and try to push my erected penis down a bit to pee into the can… but as I relax my pelvic floor muscles to release the urine.. I feel my turd start to come out at the same time!

So then I’m like “fuk this… I’ll just try and hold the pee and let the poo come out”… so I sit on the can… grasp my penis hard to try and “block” it… and I then tried to let the crap come out….that didn’t work so well…

As I relaxed my anal sphincters… my pelvic floor muscles relaxed as well and piss started flying all over the floor… I started panicking at this point… so I desperately held my crap again, while I attempted to shove/bend my erect penis into the toilet. Once it was in… I tried take the piss and crap at the same time, but my ass was too far out and this massive turd started flying out missing the bowl, landing partially on the back rim and partially on the floor.

I then closed everything off again (you can’t imagine the pain of repeatedly blocking yourself from peeing and pooing when you have go so badly)… wtf was I supposed to do? I either pee on her floor or poo on her floor….then out of sheer desperation and instinct an idea popped into my head:

I ran into her bathtub and let myself go there… I figured that at least this way I could rinse it all down instead of getting sh!t on her floor….

At that point things get even worse…

The turd wouldn’t ****ing dissolve… and the damn bish was asking me wtf I’m doing showering in her washroom….

I then answer “yea lol… I’m showering… is that ok?”…

she says: what the hell? why?? you don’t think we’re having sex do you???

At this point I can’t even think straight and I jokingly (retardedly) say: yes we are lol

she then gets mad and says: wtf? is this some kind of joke… get out of there!!

I say: no please don’t come in… I’m not done yet…

At this point the hot water I was using to try and dissolve my sh!t was releasing sh!t smelling vapours all over the room.. and it was pretty rancid… the girl could smell it and she said: “why the hell does it smell so ****ing bad? What the hell are you doing in there???”

I say: please don’t come in… trust me.. you’ll regret it…

she says: **** this… get out now or I’m unlocking the door..

I beg her not too… but she loses her patience and then opens the door. She stops dead in her tracks. There before her was me standing with a pseudo-erect penis, left over fecal residue on my ass,large semi dissolved turds in her bathtub, turds on the floor beside her toilet, and pee all over the floor in front of the can… I was so ****ing embarassed… I started shivering… she looks at me while covering her mouth and nose and whispers… “wtf did you do???”…she was starting to cry… I hesitate for a bit and I try to explain myself “I tried my best … I… I’m sorry”… She then flips out and tells me to clean up the mess or she’s calling the cops. I agree to do it.

She leaves, and I grap some toilet paper… pick up the turds from the floor and bathtub, toss them in the can, and then I proceed to clean off the floor and bathtub with soap, water and alot of tissues. I tossed most of the tissues into her toilet bowl (the garbage was full eventually). I then took some perfume from the counter and tossed into the bathtub to get rid of odour. After I was done I cleaned my ass off and flushed the toilet. To my utmost dismay, my massive fecal matter bulk and the large amount of TP unded up clogging the toilet and it overflowed and started spilling crap all over the floor… I’m literally crying at that point… I look for the plunger but I couldn’t find it so I put my pants on and rushed out to ask her if she had a plunger so I could fix the toilet…I see her with her roommate and her roommates bf… she’s crying… as soon as she sees me she tells me to gtfo right now… I try to explain that the toilet is clogged… but she doesn’t let me … she says she feels threatened and she wants me out now… she graps a knife from the drawer and tells me to leave… I leave.

about a minute later I hear this loud scream coming from her dorm room (I assumed she went back to the washroom to see it covered in poo water). At that point I sprinted away as fast as possible, while swearing at myself and crying tears of frustration and embarrasment.

anyway… should I let things cool off for a bit and call her back? maybe to apologize/explain myself? or should i just hope I never run into her again?

Source

The sounds in this video are ACTUAL sounds from the Jeep. Everyone began rehearsing their parts 2 weeks before we shot the video. It took us 7 hours of filming to get a solid take. Enjoy!

Measurements

• Bust: 32″ C
• Waist: 24″
• Hips: 35″
• Height: 5 feet 8 inchs

iGun video

Sofia: I can not lie about my age because they count.

Hole: Well you had him when you were 12.

Sofia: 13, I was raped. (Giggles)

Whoopi’s reaction is completely priceless.

To answer Barbra’s question, the only way to handle that is become gay or have perverted thoughts.

Fake or Real?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk

The freshest cooked fish you will eat (Don Chavez)

Over population comic (Regretful Morning)

7 Untelevised Football Sideline Moments (Holy Taco)

Jackasses who shave their eyebrows (The Chive)

Revolving door fail (Totally Crap)

Jessica loves to be wet (Gorilla Mask NSFW)

Videos of Sexy Game show Girls Doing Stupid Stuff (Uncoached)

Claire Robinson

Host of 5 Ingredient Fix, where she cooks up dishes with 5 ingredients or less. Maybe being part french gives her that hot nerdy look.

Ingrid Hoffmann

Host of Simply Delicioso. Raised in Columbia, she hosts her own Spanish-language cooking and lifestyle show as well.

Nigella Lawson

Host of Nigella Feasts. She has been labeled “Queen of Food Porn” because of the way she presents food.

Aida Mollenkamp

Host of Ask Aida. Being part French and Italian is where she gets her looks from. I think we are on to something with the cute French nerdy look.

Sandra Lee

Host of Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee. She has sold more than 2.3 million books. There is no doubt she can feed a man.

Catherine “Cat” Cora

Known for being on Iron Chief and co-host of Kitchen Accomplished. She was featured in the September 2006 issue of FHM. Also has a Bachelor of Science degree in Exercise Physiology and Biology

Giada De Laurentiis

Host of Everyday Italian, Behind the Bash, Giada’s Weekend Getaways, Giada in Paradise, and Giada at Home. Born in Rome, Italy, Giada is a gorgeous women. I can’t assure through the TV, but she seems to have a great personality.

Guy get owned doing a wheelie (Don Chavez)

Beer on the Highway (Manofest)

The Best Football Celebration Dances Ever (Holy Taco)

What does your bar tab say about you? (Regretful Morning)

Star Wars Gangsta Rap (Atom)

Alessandra Ambrosia Beautiful Brazilian Model (Gorilla Mask NSFW)

Whoa Sammy Sosa, What Happened? (Yep Yep)

7 Greatest Lingerie Football Photo Crops Of 2009 (Busted Coverage)

Sexy Chive Chicks (The Chive)

Guy almost gets hit by train (Totally Crap)

Black people, wtf?

[Video up soon]

Cheerleader with Dystonia

Cowboys cheerleader as Lil’ Wayne

Here are some clips of the show.

Click here for more.

Links:

Removing Bot Flies

Ballon Boy Slips Up

Ballon Boy’s dad gets defensive

• Jenny Poussin and The Week In Re-Boob (COED)
• Coffee Sports Drink (Atom)
• Weirdest Wedding Picture Ever (Uncoached)
• The 20 Funniest Neon Sign Fails Of All Time (Manofest)
• Women mistakes bracelet for butt beads (Tasty Booze)
• 7 Best First-Person Shooter Characters of All Time (Big Smudge)
• Anna Grigorenko is the International Babe of the Day (Double Viking)
• Honest Letters To One Night Standsk (Holy Taco)

• a. Oriental
• b. Elder
• c. 22 yr old blonde with big boobs on a cell phone

Click here to vote for it! You don’t have to register to vote.

Measurements

• Bust: 32? C
• Waist: 25?
• Hips: 32?
• Height: 5 feet 3 inches

Measurements

• Bust: 32″ C
• Waist: 24″
• Hips: 34″
• Height: 5 feet 2 inches
• Weight: 110 pounds

http://www.idreamofjessie.com

1234...789►

Follow him @stevie00wonder.

Duggar Family http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tqy1q0Qibrs

Montel Williams http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAuR_mBEKdE

Video of the fat guy going nuts -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXjhgiIn1z8
[Gallery not found]

Sorry video got lost again. I know, I know I’m just as pissed as you are. Won’t happen again. Love you.

Make sure to sign up for the forums and comment on this weeks episode.

Also, sound quality blows on this episode. We recorded on a new computer, don’t know what happened. Our past episodes sound professional. Will be better.

Sorry video got messed up some how, but you can listen to the audio.