Best Photos of the week  (The Chive)

This Is What Happens If You Google Search “elgooG” (Go Here)

The 21 Most Cliche Dorm-Room Posters (BroBible)

Russian Airbag Prank Nearly Kills A Guy (Giggity Greg)

A Gallery of Super Tall Girls: Yeah I’d Hit It (Ego TV)

100 Hot Asses (DJ Mick)

Kids ask Jesus for lightning, he delivers (Regretful Morning)

Having a small pee pee is advantageous at times.

Fast forward to minute 1:55.  Guy misses the deer he was aiming for, but fortunately helped a little rabbit find a land mine that wasn’t there. Kaboom!

Here’s his excuse for missing twice -

To make a long story short, my son dropped my rifle one week before this hunt and did not tell me it was dropped, after making two repetitive shots with custom loads, I knew it was not me. 15 minutes later, buck came back out and I had a chance to get my other gun from my truck and harvest him, however I did not film the fatal shot, but I have pictures.

Miss USA Rima Fakih In A Bikini (Giggity Greg)

The 20 Hottest Girls In The Kitchen (Heavy)

The 20 Hottest Softball Players Ever (Bleacher Report)

Eva Mendes got naked for Flaunt magazine (Guyism)

101 Ridiculously-Hot Redheads 2010 (Coed Magazine)

How to Be a Weatlhy Beggar (Holy Taco)

The Story of Antoine Dodson

Megan Fox Sluts It Up In The Eminem/Rihanna “Love The Way You Lie” Video (Giggity Greg)

Aria Giovanni Desperately Makes Me Want To Become A Window Washer (Beer Goggler)

The 6 Creepiest Things Ever Slipped Into Children’s Cartoons (Cracked)

10 Ways To Be Awesome (Caveman Circus)

9 Biggest WTF Ice Cream Truck Incidents Ever (Ranker)

The 25 Dirtiest Boat Names Of All Time (Manofest)

Katy Perry’s Jugs In Rolling Stone (Giggity Greg)

Jessica Burciaga Is A Los Angeles Angels Fan (Busted Coverage)

Dog Chews His Owners Toe Off When He Passes Out Drunk….Saves His Life (Bar Stool)

Sex Makes You Smarter- Can ‘Virtual Sex’ Do The Same? (Science 2.0)

Mouth Eyes (Vimeo) – Creepy, but cool.

Ninjas Attack Wedding Reception (College Humor)

Just heard Paris Rosen is feeling much better now and can move all his limbs. The way his body lands after the crash  is just plain weird to look at.

Update from Facebook :

Thank you everyone for all the prayers and well wishes! That was one gnarly crash! Just thank god I can walk! Broken lower back, severed liver, broken rib cage, seperated hip, and bruised lung.

Here is the episode Paris was on a couple months ago talking about this years and last years X-Games -

http://badmelons.com/2010/podcast-35-paris-with-love

Notice the scrolling marriage proposal on the jumbotron, haha.

Paris landing the front flip last year – http://badmelons.com/2009/paris-rosen-88ft-front-flip/

A female was the victim of an attempted rape and her brother didn’t appreciate that. He had a few things to say to the pervert. BTW, the guy could play a good Chris Rock.

Try not to notice the “lady” with the florescent pink hair to your left.

Usually these autotune remixes suck, but Autotune the News did a kick ass job on this one.

Well at least someone knows how she got famous.

The 20 Hottest Girls Enjoying Lollipops (Heavy)

Maggie Q Pictures (Holy Taco)

90 Hilarious Homeless Signs (Coed)

10 Jersey Shore Premiere House Party Must-Haves (The Angry T)

9 Douchebags You’ll Find at a Baseball Game (Total Sports)

Bikini Girl Pictures Clearly Taken By Perverts (Uncoached)

7 bizarre real teen trends you should know about (Guyism)

25 Smokin’ Hot Moments In Fire Fail (Banned in Hollywood)

Meet Christine From Crescent Hill Kentucky (Giggity Greg)

7 Videos To Show You How To Create A Really Awkward Moment (Caveman Circus)

The Perfect Girlfriend (Regretful Morning)

Basil Marceaux Future TN Governor? (Knuckles United)

Hot Chicks on Boats Part 4 (Muff Slap)

Top 10 Most Violent Movie Theatre Attacks (Ranker)

What else do you know to know about this picture? It’s at the beach, she is with her sister, thankfully not the ogre, umm, and big ass?

Guy stalls out a low flying CF-18 and ejects just in time at the perfect angle. I would just say I meant to do that because the ejection was perfectly timed. Otherwise he would have slowly drifted into a wall of fire and unless he tuned into flaming faggot, probably would have died.

Everyone knows all Asians use chop sticks and eat rice.

Kelly Brook Is Working On Her Fitness (Pics & Video) (Giggity Greg)

If Your Ugly Just Add Make-up, Makes All The Difference (The Berry)

25 Videos of Stripper Pole Mishaps (Holy Taco)

You Know You FAILED As A Parent When…. (Caveman Circus)

Selena Gomez Turned 18 (WWTDD)

15 Senior Citizen Gangsters (Muff Slap)

Can this be anymore perfect?

When you are a pubescent teenager nothing pisses you off and make you kick your dog more then not being able to ollie on a skateboard. Before you attempt to ollie this board, start thinking of a good “where’s the dog story.” But new puppies are the best anyway.

This is what football running back’s fear when players go after their knees. “Watch those knees playa.”

After being involved in a car accident this Chinese woman had her legs deformed into kangaroo legs.  A doctor has finally been able to perform corrective surgery after 15 years of hopping around like an annoying idiot. I wish her good luck and  a speedy recovery.

Can you believe they can fix this shit?

Story

Related: Ghetto Bitches At It Again, Ah Naw He Didn’t

Just stare and think about it.

Of course I’m going to hear the usual “ah hell naw, no ass is to big”. Seriously though about 2 years ago Kim’s ass was a perfect molded model ass. But now this thing is growing way out of proportion. I’m really starting to fear for her life, because in  3 years its going to look like she has seals strapped to her femur.

Some pictures of Katy Perry naked started circulating, but it turns out to be some chick with sloppy tits (NSFW). If you look closely you can see Katy has much firmer breasts. If she really had areolas like oatmeal cookies just think of all the misled spooge you wasted.

Since it turned out to be a fake here is her shoot for Esquire. Enjoy

Wow.. email me all the pics of Gina Carano you can find ASAP or leave them in the comments.

Sexy Booby Shaking (Crazy Cracker)

Bad ass pictures of classic hot rods (The Throttle)

Lindsay Lohan’s Alternate Nail Designs (Holy Taco)

Male Cheerleader Brings His A Game (Giggity Greg)

Sexy World Cup Soccer Fans (Muff Slap)

New Machete Movie Trailer (Film Drunk) – Can’t imagine this movie playing out very good. It has a weird feel too it. Almost like Kill Bill. Guns, explosions, and hot girls Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez, what the hell I’ll watch.

Brittany Snow is Hot (Spewf)

Admittedly the original giant double rainbow is pretty funny. But I guess if any acid trip deserves 1+ million view it should be this one. Here are the 2 best remixes and parodies I found.

Original

Giant Double Rainbow Cookie

Auto Tuned

This is why you don’t start problem with hood rats. They will stab your eyes out with their heels and then spit in your eye sockets. You can’t beat them. They’re louder then you are, more vicious then you are, and these bitches ain’t afraid of going to jail. They will rape you.

This is rumored to be a picture of Ke$ha with spooge on her stomach. Knowing her shtick is being a little slut, this isn’t too surprising. She should have prettied herself up little or lot cause god does she looks like trash.

While in court during her probation hearing, Lindsay Lohan was displaying her middle finger which had “fuck u” painted on them. Now this could land her in jail for contempt of court, but they must determine if it was directed at the courts.

I think she was just labeling her fingers.

‘Fuck u’ on the middle finger

‘Puke’ on the pointer finger to keep from over dosing

‘Coke Line’ on the ring finger to make sure her lines aren’t too big

‘Taste’ on the pinky for dipping into substances for quality testing

She’ll have plenty of time to think of a label for her thumb as she was sentenced to 90 days in jail for violating the terms of her probation.

Marisa Miller – FHM Magazine (Giggity Greg)

Emmanuelle Chriqui’s Drop Dead Sexy New Entourage Promo Pictures (Popoholic)

9 Celebrities Who Look Like Predators (EGO TV)

This is real hip-hop, white lady teaches hip-hop (Guyism)

Top 10 Most Offensive Mel Gibson Quotes (Ranker)

Best Fails of June 2010 Compilation (College Humor)

Guy Crashes Bentley (Totally Crap)

These 20 Pictures Prove That Japan Is Seriously Awesome (Caveman Circus)

8 Pictures of Mel Gibson Keeping the Black Man Down (Holy Taco)

Kid has the tatts, guns, and most important the attitude. When at a stop light always remember to lock your doors.

This is a 32 year old woman and if you are smelling a hint of juggalo, you a 100% correct. I still have to ask Josh if they are related in anyway.

Her threats are kind of cute actually. All this is over a World of Warcraft guild.

Updated comment from her –

Actually it has nothing to do with World of Bedwetters. I’ve never played WoW and I wish that the site or whatever it is could verify that I have never had a game account with them. I absolutely hate video games and that was the purpose of the video.

I wonder what her breast look like? But I always wondered that anyway.

Click for high res version -

Hot sexy girls getting it done. Fucking Hot.

Hot Chicks on Boats (Muff Slap)

6 Reasons Men Have Removed Their Manhood (Holy Taco)

168 Booty-ful Reasons to Root for Brazil (COED Mag)

Kim Kardashian Unleashes Her Bodacious Wax Figure (Popoholic) – Looks fre*king horrible and seriously? she gets a wax figure in the famous Madame Tussauds???

Some Hot Latinas Anyway (NSFW) (I Heart Chaos)

Katy Perry & Anna Kournikova Looking All Hot (Giggity Greg)

Hot Twitter Slut Loves Herself (Regretful Morning)

This Is Why I Went To College….8 Really Sucky Jobs (Caveman Circus)

Imagine you’re a little baby sharky swimming along in the nice blue sea and suddenly you’re on a boat bleeding out your ass.

This guy tries to get the hook out of the shark’s mouth but gets his hand too close to the shark’s mouth. Then proceeds to scream for his life. I just wish the shark would have done a crocodile death roll with the hand it’s mouth.

I got a message from Jenkins saying I have to watch the last minute of this 50 Tyson video. I couldn’t believe my ears. This is absolutely devastating. I thought 50 Tyson was down with Bad Melons. I guess he didn’t take too well to the episode we  did on him.

Notice the spuge  stain on her dress. I’m amazed by the image quality of these phones…

Hottest Iphone Babes Ever! (Sweaty Gooch)

5 Biggest Mistakes from World Cup Week 1 (Muff Slap)

Laughing At Fat People Failing Is Always Fun (Caveman Circus)

Dog doesn’t like being honked at (Regretful Morning)

Katy Perry Is About To Get Elegant All Over You Ass (Giggity Greg) – I am a huge fan of Katy’s looks

7 Classic Disney Movies Based On R-Rated Stories (Cracked)

Taylor Swift Looks Like a GOOF! (WWTDD)

25 Chicks in Granny Panties (Holy Taco)

The Toy Story Wire Parody (Double Viking)

Seattle Cop Can’t Control Teenage Girl

Jealous Lover Sets Boyfriend On Fire

This is the horrific moment a couple became human fireballs as they were engulfed in flames in a New York street.

William Salazar, 32, is pictured with his clothes alight as he desperately tried to put out the fire. He died four days later in hospital from 50 per cent burns.

On the floor, his 50-year-old lover Agnes Bermudez lies screaming in pain as flames roar along her body.

The terrifying images, captured on CCTV cameras, show Mr Salazar desperately running into a shop, where he opens a fridge door in a desperate search for water.

The shopkeeper and his assistant lurch out the way of his flaming body and grab gallon-sized jugs to throw over both of them, sending smoke pouring into the air.

But the blaze had caught hold of their apartment block in the Queens area of New York, and three people died in the ensuing fire.

The shocking video was shown to a jury at the trial of Bermudez, who was horribly disfigured in the blaze.

She is charged with four counts of murder for allegedly dousing Mr Salazar in carpet cleaning solution and igniting him, killing him and three of his upstairs neighbours in the June 2008 fire.

A third-floor tenant, Flor Sandoval, 48, tried to get out and hung from her window screaming, ‘Help Me! Help me! Catch me in your arms,’ as the flames inched closer to her.

Onlookers on the ground shouted up to her to hold on because help was minutes away but she lost her grip and fell to her death.

Also killed was Sandoval’s husband, Heriberto Garcia, 57, and their 20-year-old son, Felipe Garcia Sandoval.

As Mr Salazar was being treated for his injuries he told a friend at the scene that it was Bermudez who attacked him, a court in New York was told.

‘Agnes is crazy. She threw that s*** on me and the whole place went on fire,’ he is said to have told Sebastian Castro.

The jury was told that Mr Salazar and his ex-girlfriend had a drunken brawl the weekend before the incident.

Raul Palacios, Mr Salazar’s flatmate, said he had punched Bermudez in the face in a row over a laptop computer,

Mr Palacios said: ’He jumped on her. He was mad. He was drunk.’

He also claimed that Bermudez attacked Mr Salazar in a nightclub because he was dancing with another girl.

‘She started to yell at him, ”You are nothing. You owe me everything.” She gave him a slap,’ Mr Palacios said.

From – Hollywood On Crack

This footer massager (probably a happy ender) claims to be the heiress of the Samsung fortune. She was busted on her gulf stream jet with $500K worth of marijuana. While flying from California to Columbus, Ohio when she was caught with 23 bales of pot (good doggy?).  Now she is facing 40 years in prison and a $2 million fine.

Samsung’s Lee family is saying Lisette Lee is not a heiress of Samsung Electronics and is not a member of Samsung’s Lee family [statement].

SEOUL, South Korea–(BUSINESS WIRE)–Samsung issued the following statement regarding Lisette Lee:

“Contrary to some media reports, Lisette Lee is not an heiress of Samsung Electronics and is not a member of Samsung’s Lee family.”

Now it was easy to buy her story of being part of the Samsung fortune when she is flying around in a private jet. But now it’s official she is a grifter (money made dishonestly), how did she make it this far to be traveling in a private jet? I know a vag along with a deceiving mind goes a long way, but this far? Hold on to your wallets, remember its only a warm hole.

This cop is a complete embarrassment to Bad Melons. I can’t tell if he connected his punch very well, because it seems to have dropped a few frames in the video. Either way you have a taser, use it and if you don’t have taser, use a gun. They almost look the same anyway.

Stupid girl fails at lighting fart (Regretful Morning) – haha, ass

kelly brook. in playboy (WWTDD)

Katie Holmes Tits for Old Times of the Day (Drunken Stepfather)

15 Absolutely Hilarious Science Fair Projects (Uncoached)

10 Greatest Animal Photobombs Of All Time (Caveman Circus)

Lindsay Got Really Fat (WWTDD) – she is starting to look like a substitute teacher

100 Hottest Female Soccer Fans! A Gallery! (Manofest)

Jeremy Roenick Cries You A River (Don Chavez) – what a pussy

How to Threaten a Coworker (Holy Taco)

Emily Scott In Ralph Is Beyond Sexy (Giggity Greg)

$2.93 Million Bugatti Veyron Toy Costs More Than Real Car (Jalopnik)

Taxidermied Cougar Moms (The Dirty)

You know they’re kicking themselves after a $7.3 million dollar opening for not using this ending.

Sack tapping video

Paris’s X Games front flip attempt.

Paris doing and interview with his shirt off.

**Warning if you are a first time listener, this podcast is definitely rated mature. So get your parents permission to listen first, boys and girls.

Hooter’s Girl Weight Debate

Kendra Screen Shots (NSFW)

Kendra Video (NSFW)

Update: Former NASCAR Driver Arrested for Attempted Rape – My heart stopped when I read this headline.

Fat Two Year Old Burning 40 Cigs A Day (Giggity Greg) – I really don’t think he is two.

7 Things That Will Definitely Happen On Memorial Day Weekend (Holy Taco)

Insane LED Room at Smack Nightclub in the UK (Muff Slap)

The 25 Sexiest Celebrity Twitter Photos (Manofest)

Emma Taylor Says That Her Eyes Are Her Biggest Assets (Busted Coverage)

A Fun Gallery of Celebrities Watching Sports (Uncoached)

Kendra Sex Tape Review of the Day (Drunken Stepfather) NSFW – God, she is white trash

20 Awesome Examples Of The ‘White Fro’ (Knuckles United)

15 Movies That Make It Awesome To Be American (I Heart Chaos) – America! Fre*k Yeah!

20 Examples Of Douchebags Holding Money (Regretful Morning)

Shrek’s Wife Thinks She’s a Model (The Dirty)

Bad Melons TV: How to Get a Date with Sparta John

Vulva Original (NSFW)

Hope Dworaczyk Is Unreal…Jason Kidd Is Really Lucky (Giggity Greg)

15 Of The Most Grusome Cuts Ever [Graphic] (Knuckles United)

Courtney Shoemaker (Tasty Booze)

Boyfriend of the Day (Drunken Stepfather)

How not to park an Audi TT (Totally Crap)

Even Terrorists Enjoy Dicking Around (Uncoached)

25 Ridiculous Senior Portraits (Holy Taco)

Top 10 Most Revealing Poker Tells (Muff Slap)

Update:

50 Tyson responds with  a video.

Everyone who took a picture with us at ASU’s Undie Run 2010. The event itself was kick ass. Definitely a self-esteem builder for fatties.

ASU Undie Run’s Facebook and make sure to like/fan our page.  Also listen to our podcast badmelons.com/episodes.

More on Page 2

]]> http://badmelons.com/2010/asu-undie-run-2010/feed/ 0 http://badmelons.com/2010/knifing-throwing-mother-in-1950/ http://badmelons.com/2010/knifing-throwing-mother-in-1950/#comments Sun, 02 May 2010 23:16:59 +0000 Melo http://badmelons.com/?p=1639

Olivia Munn Does FHM (Giggity Greg) – Thought FHM went bankrupt?

Hello Nicole Scherzinger (Don Chavez)

30 Entertaining “Meanwhile in” Pictures (Regretful Morning)

Unorthodox Grocery List (Tasty Booze)

25 Women With Mustaches (Holy Taco)

As Seen On TV People Have Issues (Manofest) – Genius

Megan Fox’s new movie trailer (Film Drunk)

Gamers: They Love To Rage (Knuckles United)

Basketball Team’s Celebration Interrupted By Opponent’s Half Court Winning Shot (Caveman Circus)

Bodies Don’t Get Much Better than Valentina Dessi’s (Uncoached)

The Michelle Beadle Eating A Hot Dog GIF (Busted Coverage) – You will definitely enjoy this.

Bad Ass Revolver BBQ Grill (Muff Slap)

]]> http://badmelons.com/2010/knifing-throwing-mother-in-1950/feed/ 0 http://badmelons.com/2010/comedy-podcast-31-jumbo-hearing/ http://badmelons.com/2010/comedy-podcast-31-jumbo-hearing/#comments Mon, 26 Apr 2010 13:09:49 +0000 Melo http://badmelons.com/?p=1630 We discussed people who need to bump heavy bass at a stop light, while there is nothing you can do, but wish their whole family gets murdered. Everyone falls in love with Taylor, our babe of the month. We talk about the n-word. Immigration Bill gets both thumbs up and down.

Taylor, Babe of the Month for April

Adult Film Star Verifies Her Age, Saves Fan From 20 Years In Prison! (Radar Online)

]]> http://badmelons.com/2010/comedy-podcast-31-jumbo-hearing/feed/ 0 73:42 We discussed people who need to bump heavy bass at a stop light, while there is nothing you can do, but wish their whole family ... We discussed people who need to bump heavy bass at a stop light, while there is nothing you can do, but wish their whole family gets murdered. Everyone falls in love with Taylor, our babe of the month. We talk about the n-word. Immigration Bill gets both thumbs up and down. [vimeo id='11250027'] Taylor, Babe of the Month for April Adult Film Star Verifies Her Age, Saves Fan From 20 Years In Prison! (Radar Online) Episodes Jonathan Melo no no http://badmelons.com/2010/how-to-eat-a-juicy-creature-yuk/ http://badmelons.com/2010/how-to-eat-a-juicy-creature-yuk/#comments Thu, 22 Apr 2010 01:20:48 +0000 Melo http://badmelons.com/?p=1621

Wasted Guy Vs. Flip Flop At Coachella 2010 (Giggity Greg)

99 Things That Look Like Boobs (Manofest)

Celebrities Doing Jobs They Shouldn’t (Holy Taco)

15 ‘Smoking’ Hotties (Knuckles United)

Top Party Schools 2010 (Playboy)

Passed Out Drunk Cardinals Fan Beer Cup Stacking (Busted Coverage)

A Gallery Of Old Men With Young Women (Caveman Circus)

Awesome Landscape Photos Using Food (Uncoached)

]]> http://badmelons.com/2010/how-to-eat-a-juicy-creature-yuk/feed/ 1 http://badmelons.com/2010/bad-melons-babe-of-the-month-for-april-2010/ http://badmelons.com/2010/bad-melons-babe-of-the-month-for-april-2010/#comments Sun, 18 Apr 2010 11:22:43 +0000 Melo http://badmelons.com/?p=1604 Taylor

◄ Back

Next ►

Picture 1 of 9

We went with the Bad Melons Babe of the Month for April, Taylor, to Rent a Center for a quick photoshoot. We ended up being asked to leave ask after 8 minutes, as we expected. The whole point was to get some footage for Bad Melons TV.  I get in the car turn off the camera and notice it was off the whole time! Could have murdered.

Photos: Andy Le

Chris Rock Talks to Letterman About Him Banging Interns (Giggity Greg) – Finally! So good.

Kids School Play Reenactment of Scarface (Muff Slap)

25 Awesome Fake Movie Posters (Manofest)

24 White Trash Gaming Rigs (Regretful Morning)

Sherri Shepherd’s Disgusting Fat Chick Tits of the Day (Drunken Stepfather)

Hooters Augusta Bikini Contest (Busted Coverage)

Brooke Burke Looks MILFY (Don Chavez)

10 Modern Sexy Characters From Cartoons (Uncoached)

A Font Nerd That Loves Brenda? (Tasty Booze)

Jersey Shore Soundboard (Giggity Greg) – About 4 months to late, but whatever.

Driving on the Beach Epic Fails (Muff Slap)

25 Unusual Urinals (Knuckles United)

The Kid From Jerry Maguire Is All Grown Up & Working Over Playboy Chicks! (Busted Coverage)

6 Places to Dump Your Girlfriend (Made Men)

Woman Sues Tattoo Artist Because of Her Own Typo (Regretful Morning)

Not the Way to Go: The Worst Suicide Attempt Ever (Uncouched)

Jesse James is Nazi (WWTDD) – Just a little bit funny?

Tiger Woods Pays Mistress $10 Mil to STFU (TMZ) – WTF?

Hotties in the Wild (Double Viking)

Huge Crash at Service Station (Totally Crap)

Awesome April Fools Pranks (Holy Taco)

I don’t know WTF happened before this clip started but I could listen to this lady talk all day.

◄ Back

Next ►

Picture 1 of 13

Photos: Andy Le

The 2010 Douchebag Tournament Begins Now! (Holy Taco)

A Fun Collection of Sumo Wrestler Photoshops (Uncouched)

Rosie Jones Topless Pictures from Nuts (Egotastic)

Saint Patrick’s Day Sexy Girls (Hot Girls of Mypsace) NSFW

Beer Pong + Parkour = AWESOME! (Regretful Morning)

Man Legally Changes His Name To “Fuck The Drug War” (Hail Mary Jane)

22 Strange And Painful Things Found In X-Rays (Caveman Circus)

Bracketology: Who Gives A Shit? edges out Who Cares? for the title (Knuckles United)

Randy Couture Gets a New Mid-Life Crisis Tattoo (Cage Potato)

One of the better lines I have heard this month “Son of a bitch. I felt fucking special, I thought a milf wanted me” – Sparta John.

If people  didn’t watch Conan when he was free on TV, why would people pay almost $100 to watch him now?

You can get your tickets here.

If her boyfriend was willing to go down with her looks, I’m sure pubic cobwebs isn’t going to be a boner kill. Instead of worrying about how the hair on your cookie looks, how about you fix the hair on your head?

Story

Incase you dont get it:

1. Kim’s dad was O.J.’s Lawyer

2. O.J. was acquitted because the glove did not fit

3. Kim’s glove does not fit

BONUS:

4. O.J. was awarded the Heisman trophy

5. Reggie Bush was awarded the Heisman trophy

Conclusion: ??????????

Photos: Flynet

Giggity Girl – Laura Vandervoort (Giggity Greg)

Fat People That Look Like Animals (Muff Slap)

Gorilla Mask – Spank Bank: Theresa Correa (Gorilla Mask)

Oregon DUI Cheerleader Molly (Busted Coverage)

25 Well Trimmed Bushes (Holy Taco)

Star Wars Embedded Into American History (Caveman Circus)

EXCLUSIVE: Bachelor Villain Rozlyn Papa Purple Crayon Sex Tape (The Dirty)

Update:

OK. I’ve watched 6 times and still can’t get over it. Don’t know what to think. I’m lost

Update 2:

Ugh. She just seems so happy… I’m a fan now, but who knew midgets were so quite?

Update:

Lame. They took the video down. So I’ll make up with this. Mickey Rourke’s acceptance speech.

For first time listeners, I recommend podcast 24.

Sorry, show footage got lost. So play on playa!

◄ Back

Next ►

Picture 1 of 21

Measurements

• Bust: 32″ c
• Waist: 25″
• Hips: 32″
• Height: 5 feet 5 inches
• Weight: 110 lbs

Credits

Photos: Andy Le

Someone get this guy an Amber Lamps.

Update

Chuck’s almost slutty valentine.

This is idiot was shocked by 138,000 volts trying to steal some copper for weed and rent money.

At least he got a free $50,000 wheel chair out of it. Now he is definitely employable.

Hoover Vs. Spain Park Basketball Brawl: How About A Straight Right White Boy? (Busted Coverage)

8 Hilariously Awful PSAs (Regretful Morning)

Hot Girlfriend Shamelessly Promotes Sketchers (Tasty Booze)

Quarterbacks Getting Tackled by Invisible Players (Holy Taco)

A Single Guy’s Guide to Getting Laid on Valentine’s Day (Muff Slap)

The 50 Funniest Google Search Suggestions Of All Time (Manofest)

Some People Shouldn’t Play Drinking Games (Cracked)

◄ Back

Next ►

Picture 1 of 24

Measurements

• Bust: 34″ D
• Waist: 26″
• Hips: 36″
• Height: 5 feet 7 inches
• Weight: 112 lbs

What made you get into modeling?

A friend of mine actually used to work for Ford Models, and he asked me to do a photo shoot, which I thought was total joke. I said “Sure, I’ll try it.” I tried it and it was awkard and weird, but I ended doing it and loving it and having fun.

How long have you been doing modeling?

Just about a year and a half.

What is your favorite football team?

Definitely the Greenbay Packers, because I’m from Wisconsin. Currently its been kind of a rough season. Brett Farve is with one of our rivals, that I hate, the Vikings. Its hard to talk about because I get angery. I feel like Brett Farve was part of me, he was part of the packers for as long as I can remember. Then he just leaves the packers and goes to the vikings. I honestly feel like him and I had something special and broke up with me and got with my worst enemy. I hope they get creamed today by the Saints.

Are you completely shaved?

Are you completely shaved? Ok yeah, actually I am too. Putting it all out there.

What is the worst place a guy has hit on you, like lets say a funeral?

I went with one of my girlfriends to meet her boyfriend and he ended up hitting on me.

What is the strangest place you have ever had sex?

That I am willing to share with you guys. The strangest place would probably be in the driver seat while my little friend was driving. He was driving and I was chillin’. It was wild, but it was fun. I was kind of hoping he was speeding so when we got the pictures taken you would be able to see it.

What’s the hardest part of being a hot babe?

Oh boy, I guess when creepy guys hit on you, like really creepy ways. Me and my friends have been walking down Mill before, and this homeless guy came up to me and telling me how hot I would be if I was on the Discovery channel.

What is your best physical feature?

I would have to say the thing I get the most compliments on are the girls (points to boobs). I don’t really agree. I like my legs, I think I have decent legs.

How do you get around farting in public?

I don’t, girls don’t do that. End of story.

Are your breasts real or implants and how big are they?

They are real and they are 34 D’s.

What is your smallest fear?

Creepy places! Like when I think I’m in the ghetto, usually I’m not. I’m always freaking out, like “Is this the ghetto?! Should I be scared?!”

You just won a million dollars, whats the first thing you would buy?

Probably a Porsche 911 Twin Turbo.

What is the creepiest text you have ever received?

I actually got one the other night. I was actually at a bar on Mill and he was 10 people away from me and he knew we were there and I get a text from him saying, this is so dirty, “I want to be playing inside you right now.” I didn’t know what to say. I felt really creeped out. First of all if you really want to say that to me, walk 10 feet over and say it to me. Then he ended up creeping on my roomate later that night.

What are the advantages of having really big boobs?

Ok, I know a lot of disadvantages. Definitely running, I can’t go to the gym with out 10 sports bras and that still doesn’t help very much. At the same time you definitely get more attention, which can be a good or bad thing depending on who its from. I think boobs are so over rated. I’m not really going to complain but if I had smaller ones I could definitely be a much better runner. I don’t like to go braless at all and with little ones its just easier. You don’t have to worry about stuff flying all over.

Whats your favorite animal and why?

Definitely horses because I love them. I had them in high school. They took up all my time. I did some speed stuff and barrel races. Two of my best friends had horse so we were always out riding together.

Do you play Call of Duty on the 360 or the PC?

I played once in my whole life and I don’t know what it was playing on. I like Nintendo Wii and thats about the extent of my video gaming. I’m pretty awesome at Guitar Hero, but only on medium.

On a night out how long does it take you to get ready?

Ok, that depends, because if I have to shower and dry my hair and get ready then it takes me about an hour. If I’m all showered and just have to do my hair and make up it only takes me about 15-20 minutes. I like to think I’m pretty quick.

What kind of girl were you growing up?

I had three brothers. So I was always in trying to keep up with them. So I was never a super girly girl, but I was never a tom boy either. I tried to keep up with my brothers and I think that made me tougher. I can handle guys pretty well. I had my girl stuff, I had ponies and tea parties.

Want to be a Bad Melons Babe of the Month? Email babes@badmelons.com

Host: Cory

Photos: Andy Le

Video: Melo

22 Things To Do To Your Friends When They Pass Out Drunk (Caveman Circus)

29 Dangerously Overloaded Vehicles (Fork Party)

Facebook Bingo (Holy Taco)

29 Pictures of Babes In Star Wars Gear (Regretful Morning)

World’s Tallest Man Meets World’s Shortest Man (Asylum)

What You Need in Your Home Bar (Man Made)

The Beard is King. 10 MMA Fighters With Awesome Beards (Big Smudge)

30 Pics of Shaq’s Mistress, Dominica Westling (Total Pro Sports)

25 Hot Chicks With Fists In Their Mouths (Holy Taco)

Parked car vs sledding girl (Regretful Morning)

One Hell of a Job Fair in China (Uncoached)

Tonight I was going out to work to finish up a report. Its a nice cool night and I took the 335i. Well, I was in the slow lane and I see a set of HID lights pull up on my rear bumper fast! WTF?!? It changes lanes and it was a murdered out 350Z. Pretty much he was jabbing at his throttle getting me to run. I just stayed in the slow lane and cruised. After a minute or so of trying the driver side window rolls down and some idiot sticks his hand out and gives me a thumbs down. The guy zooms off and begins weaving through traffic.

I keep my pace and he gets stuck behind traffic. Again I am side by side with this clown and he again tries to get me to run. Well, I end up getting ahead of him, he changes lanes, and he begins to ride my ***. He was so close that I couldnt even see his headlights anymore. That’s 1. I take a exit and he follows. Perfect. I call in to my co-worker who was on beat and told him to position himself should this idiot follow me into my city. My lane splits into 2 lanes and he gets beside me. The driver looks over and says,” Hey *****.. lets see what that over priced piece of **** can do.” and begins revving his engine. The light turns green and he peels out. That’s 2.

Speed limit is 35 and he is doing about 50+. That’s 3. The next light turns red and we end up next to each other again. Once again I get the verbal abuse. Driver: “Come on *****. I will smoke your ***.” The Passenger: “What a ***king *****.” I turn to them and said,” You never know.. there might be cops around.” Not sure who said it but I heard ” ***k the police”. The light turns red and he burns out again. That’s 4.

My bluetooth goes off and its my partner working beat. I roll up my window and answer my phone. I have him a description of the car and he said he was ready. Light turns green and he sees my partner who has his unit sticking out behind a safeway store and right when he passed my buddy lit his *** up. He pulls over and I pull in behind my buddy and put on my bullet proof vest that was in my trunk.

As my partner backed me up, I went up to the car and identified myself as the police and both of them were in shock. I got his driver license, registration, and insurance. He didn’t say anything. I grabbed one of my buddy’s cites n hit him up for speeding, exhibition of speed- 2 counts, tinted driver and passenger side windows, and Exhaust. As I filled out the cite I told my buddy to take them out of the car and to tell the driver that his car was getting towed as well.

I went up to the driver and explained to him what I was citing him for and that the Exhibition of Speed was a misdemeanor though we weren’t going to arrest him but his car was now mine. He broke down and started to cry!!! Started whimpering and saying ” I have finals tomorrow sir! How am I going to get to work?” “Please don’t take my car!” The kid was 18 years old and he had to call his dad to pick him up. Needless to say the dad wasn’t happy. Tow truck came and took the car. Pretty much he’s going to have to pay around 400 bucks to get the car back.

I felt no pity. So lesson is, don’t go picking races with people because you never know who you might run into. This kid learned the hard way.

Source

Audio in the video goes out half way through but comes back after a couple minutes. The audio version is 100%, so listen to that so you don’t miss a word.

What a douche.

I meant to say facebook.com/badmelons at the end of the show.

Update: My fish has died

Shaping this behavior requires you to have a feeder stick and a hoop. Both items can be made on your own.

1) Feed it when it approaches the hoop
2) Feed it when it bumps its head on the hoop
3) Slowly increase the distance that it has to move the hoop
4) Try not to vary the position that you want it to bring it to.

This behavior took me many trials spread over many days to shape. Sometimes it’s a lot of waiting for the fish to do something so it is time consuming and requires patience.

Here goes…

If you’ve been following my social anxiety thread you would have learned that I got an asian girls number during my last update (the encounter wasn’t recorded unfortunetely because my Camera froze). But anyway, it’s been over a week and I was feeling like taking a break from exam studying, and I figured that if I didn’t call her before exams were done then I wouldn’t get a chance to see her until after the break (which would be too long perhaps). So I called her up and asked her if she wanted to take a break from studying and meet me for coffee. Well she said yes, and we met at a campus cafe. We had some small talk, and it went well overall. After that she said “hey my roomate is making some chinese food for dinner because her boyfriend is over, would you like to come by and try some? she usually makes way more than needed”. Now at that point I felt like I had to take a sh!t, but there was no way I could turn down this opportunity; it seemed like she was into me and this would be a great opportunity to get to know each other further. So I decided to try and hold my crap as long as possible (I don’t crap in public toilets) and accept her invitation.

I pull down my pants step up to the toilet and I am then faced with an ominous predicament; I have to extremely badly take BOTH a pee AND a POO…. AND I have an erection…. what the **** do I do? Which do I do first??

So I bend over and try to push my erected penis down a bit to pee into the can… but as I relax my pelvic floor muscles to release the urine.. I feel my turd start to come out at the same time!

So then I’m like “fuk this… I’ll just try and hold the pee and let the poo come out”… so I sit on the can… grasp my penis hard to try and “block” it… and I then tried to let the crap come out….that didn’t work so well…

As I relaxed my anal sphincters… my pelvic floor muscles relaxed as well and piss started flying all over the floor… I started panicking at this point… so I desperately held my crap again, while I attempted to shove/bend my erect penis into the toilet. Once it was in… I tried take the piss and crap at the same time, but my ass was too far out and this massive turd started flying out missing the bowl, landing partially on the back rim and partially on the floor.

I then closed everything off again (you can’t imagine the pain of repeatedly blocking yourself from peeing and pooing when you have go so badly)… wtf was I supposed to do? I either pee on her floor or poo on her floor….then out of sheer desperation and instinct an idea popped into my head:

I ran into her bathtub and let myself go there… I figured that at least this way I could rinse it all down instead of getting sh!t on her floor….

At that point things get even worse…

The turd wouldn’t ****ing dissolve… and the damn bish was asking me wtf I’m doing showering in her washroom….

I then answer “yea lol… I’m showering… is that ok?”…

she says: what the hell? why?? you don’t think we’re having sex do you???

At this point I can’t even think straight and I jokingly (retardedly) say: yes we are lol

she then gets mad and says: wtf? is this some kind of joke… get out of there!!

I say: no please don’t come in… I’m not done yet…

At this point the hot water I was using to try and dissolve my sh!t was releasing sh!t smelling vapours all over the room.. and it was pretty rancid… the girl could smell it and she said: “why the hell does it smell so ****ing bad? What the hell are you doing in there???”

I say: please don’t come in… trust me.. you’ll regret it…

she says: **** this… get out now or I’m unlocking the door..

I beg her not too… but she loses her patience and then opens the door. She stops dead in her tracks. There before her was me standing with a pseudo-erect penis, left over fecal residue on my ass,large semi dissolved turds in her bathtub, turds on the floor beside her toilet, and pee all over the floor in front of the can… I was so ****ing embarassed… I started shivering… she looks at me while covering her mouth and nose and whispers… “wtf did you do???”…she was starting to cry… I hesitate for a bit and I try to explain myself “I tried my best … I… I’m sorry”… She then flips out and tells me to clean up the mess or she’s calling the cops. I agree to do it.

She leaves, and I grap some toilet paper… pick up the turds from the floor and bathtub, toss them in the can, and then I proceed to clean off the floor and bathtub with soap, water and alot of tissues. I tossed most of the tissues into her toilet bowl (the garbage was full eventually). I then took some perfume from the counter and tossed into the bathtub to get rid of odour. After I was done I cleaned my ass off and flushed the toilet. To my utmost dismay, my massive fecal matter bulk and the large amount of TP unded up clogging the toilet and it overflowed and started spilling crap all over the floor… I’m literally crying at that point… I look for the plunger but I couldn’t find it so I put my pants on and rushed out to ask her if she had a plunger so I could fix the toilet…I see her with her roommate and her roommates bf… she’s crying… as soon as she sees me she tells me to gtfo right now… I try to explain that the toilet is clogged… but she doesn’t let me … she says she feels threatened and she wants me out now… she graps a knife from the drawer and tells me to leave… I leave.

about a minute later I hear this loud scream coming from her dorm room (I assumed she went back to the washroom to see it covered in poo water). At that point I sprinted away as fast as possible, while swearing at myself and crying tears of frustration and embarrasment.

anyway… should I let things cool off for a bit and call her back? maybe to apologize/explain myself? or should i just hope I never run into her again?

Source

The sounds in this video are ACTUAL sounds from the Jeep. Everyone began rehearsing their parts 2 weeks before we shot the video. It took us 7 hours of filming to get a solid take. Enjoy!

Measurements

• Bust: 32″ C
• Waist: 24″
• Hips: 35″
• Height: 5 feet 8 inchs

iGun video

Sofia: I can not lie about my age because they count.

Hole: Well you had him when you were 12.

Sofia: 13, I was raped. (Giggles)

Whoopi’s reaction is completely priceless.

To answer Barbra’s question, the only way to handle that is become gay or have perverted thoughts.

Fake or Real?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk

The freshest cooked fish you will eat (Don Chavez)

Over population comic (Regretful Morning)

7 Untelevised Football Sideline Moments (Holy Taco)

Jackasses who shave their eyebrows (The Chive)

Revolving door fail (Totally Crap)

Jessica loves to be wet (Gorilla Mask NSFW)

Videos of Sexy Game show Girls Doing Stupid Stuff (Uncoached)

Claire Robinson

Host of 5 Ingredient Fix, where she cooks up dishes with 5 ingredients or less. Maybe being part french gives her that hot nerdy look.

Ingrid Hoffmann

Host of Simply Delicioso. Raised in Columbia, she hosts her own Spanish-language cooking and lifestyle show as well.

Nigella Lawson

Host of Nigella Feasts. She has been labeled “Queen of Food Porn” because of the way she presents food.

Aida Mollenkamp

Host of Ask Aida. Being part French and Italian is where she gets her looks from. I think we are on to something with the cute French nerdy look.

Sandra Lee

Host of Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee. She has sold more than 2.3 million books. There is no doubt she can feed a man.

Catherine “Cat” Cora

Known for being on Iron Chief and co-host of Kitchen Accomplished. She was featured in the September 2006 issue of FHM. Also has a Bachelor of Science degree in Exercise Physiology and Biology

Giada De Laurentiis

Host of Everyday Italian, Behind the Bash, Giada’s Weekend Getaways, Giada in Paradise, and Giada at Home. Born in Rome, Italy, Giada is a gorgeous women. I can’t assure through the TV, but she seems to have a great personality.

Guy get owned doing a wheelie (Don Chavez)

Beer on the Highway (Manofest)

The Best Football Celebration Dances Ever (Holy Taco)

What does your bar tab say about you? (Regretful Morning)

Star Wars Gangsta Rap (Atom)

Alessandra Ambrosia Beautiful Brazilian Model (Gorilla Mask NSFW)

Whoa Sammy Sosa, What Happened? (Yep Yep)

7 Greatest Lingerie Football Photo Crops Of 2009 (Busted Coverage)

Sexy Chive Chicks (The Chive)

Guy almost gets hit by train (Totally Crap)

Black people, wtf?

[Video up soon]

Cheerleader with Dystonia

Cowboys cheerleader as Lil’ Wayne

Here are some clips of the show.

Click here for more.

Links:

Removing Bot Flies

Ballon Boy Slips Up

Ballon Boy’s dad gets defensive

• Jenny Poussin and The Week In Re-Boob (COED)
• Coffee Sports Drink (Atom)
• Weirdest Wedding Picture Ever (Uncoached)
• The 20 Funniest Neon Sign Fails Of All Time (Manofest)
• Women mistakes bracelet for butt beads (Tasty Booze)
• 7 Best First-Person Shooter Characters of All Time (Big Smudge)
• Anna Grigorenko is the International Babe of the Day (Double Viking)
• Honest Letters To One Night Standsk (Holy Taco)

• a. Oriental
• b. Elder
• c. 22 yr old blonde with big boobs on a cell phone

Click here to vote for it! You don’t have to register to vote.

Measurements

• Bust: 32? C
• Waist: 25?
• Hips: 32?
• Height: 5 feet 3 inches

Measurements

• Bust: 32″ C
• Waist: 24″
• Hips: 34″
• Height: 5 feet 2 inches
• Weight: 110 pounds

http://www.idreamofjessie.com

◄ Back

Next ►

Picture 1 of 206

1234...789►

Duggar Family http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tqy1q0Qibrs

Montel Williams http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAuR_mBEKdE

Video of the fat guy going nuts -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXjhgiIn1z8

Sorry video got lost again. I know, I know I’m just as pissed as you are. Won’t happen again. Love you.

Make sure to sign up for the forums and comment on this weeks episode.

Also, sound quality blows on this episode. We recorded on a new computer, don’t know what happened. Our past episodes sound professional. Will be better.

Sorry video got messed up some how, but you can listen to the audio.