Bad Melons » Stupid Celebrities

Justin Bieber Does Not Impress A Black Girl

Melo — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 07:23:43 +0000

Best Photos of the week (The Chive)

This Is What Happens If You Google Search “elgooG” (Go Here)

The 21 Most Cliche Dorm-Room Posters (BroBible)

Russian Airbag Prank Nearly Kills A Guy (Giggity Greg)

A Gallery of Super Tall Girls: Yeah I’d Hit It (Ego TV)

100 Hot Asses (DJ Mick)

Kids ask Jesus for lightning, he delivers (Regretful Morning)

Lady Gaga Crowd Surfs And Makes Out w/ A Gay

Melo — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 21:32:37 +0000

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Katy Perry’s Boobs Are In Rolling Stones

Melo — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 07:29:09 +0000

Katy Perry’s Jugs In Rolling Stone (Giggity Greg)

Jessica Burciaga Is A Los Angeles Angels Fan (Busted Coverage)

Dog Chews His Owners Toe Off When He Passes Out Drunk….Saves His Life (Bar Stool)

Sex Makes You Smarter- Can ‘Virtual Sex’ Do The Same? (Science 2.0)

Mouth Eyes (Vimeo) – Creepy, but cool.

Ninjas Attack Wedding Reception (College Humor)

Kim Kardashian Still Remembers How She Got Famous

Melo — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 09:38:45 +0000

Well at least someone knows how she got famous.

The 20 Hottest Girls Enjoying Lollipops (Heavy)

Maggie Q Pictures (Holy Taco)

90 Hilarious Homeless Signs (Coed)

10 Jersey Shore Premiere House Party Must-Haves (The Angry T)

9 Douchebags You’ll Find at a Baseball Game (Total Sports)

Bikini Girl Pictures Clearly Taken By Perverts (Uncoached)

7 bizarre real teen trends you should know about (Guyism)

Kim Kardashian Has A Deep Dark Ass Crack

Melo — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 10:14:43 +0000

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What else do you know to know about this picture? It’s at the beach, she is with her sister, thankfully not the ogre, umm, and big ass?

Lebron James Tells Cleveland How He Really Feels

Melo — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 10:59:25 +0000

Can this be anymore perfect?

Is Kim Kardashian’s Ass Too Big?

Melo — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 19:20:25 +0000

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Of course I’m going to hear the usual “ah hell naw, no ass is to big”. Seriously though about 2 years ago Kim’s ass was a perfect molded model ass. But now this thing is growing way out of proportion. I’m really starting to fear for her life, because in 3 years its going to look like she has seals strapped to her femur.

Katy Perry Gets Naked, God Bless

Melo — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 11:43:29 +0000

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Some pictures of Katy Perry naked started circulating, but it turns out to be some chick with sloppy tits (NSFW). If you look closely you can see Katy has much firmer breasts. If she really had areolas like oatmeal cookies just think of all the misled spooge you wasted.

Since it turned out to be a fake here is her shoot for Esquire. Enjoy

Ke$ha Takes A Money Shot

Melo — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 01:30:36 +0000

This is rumored to be a picture of Ke$ha with spooge on her stomach. Knowing her shtick is being a little slut, this isn’t too surprising. She should have prettied herself up little or lot cause god does she looks like trash.

What Does Lohan’s Middle Finger Really Mean?

Melo — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 01:18:03 +0000

While in court during her probation hearing, Lindsay Lohan was displaying her middle finger which had “fuck u” painted on them. Now this could land her in jail for contempt of court, but they must determine if it was directed at the courts.

I think she was just labeling her fingers.

‘Fuck u’ on the middle finger

‘Puke’ on the pointer finger to keep from over dosing

‘Coke Line’ on the ring finger to make sure her lines aren’t too big

‘Taste’ on the pinky for dipping into substances for quality testing

She’ll have plenty of time to think of a label for her thumb as she was sentenced to 90 days in jail for violating the terms of her probation.

Hairy Megan Fox Close Up, Would You?

Melo — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 18:06:44 +0000

I wonder what her breast look like? But I always wondered that anyway.

Click for high res version -

50 Tyson Disses Bad Melons

Melo — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 20:57:16 +0000

I got a message from Jenkins saying I have to watch the last minute of this 50 Tyson video. I couldn’t believe my ears. This is absolutely devastating. I thought 50 Tyson was down with Bad Melons. I guess he didn’t take too well to the episode we did on him.

Samsung Heiress Busted With 500 Lbs of Marijuana

Melo — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 12:20:47 +0000

This footer massager (probably a happy ender) claims to be the heiress of the Samsung fortune. She was busted on her gulf stream jet with $500K worth of marijuana. While flying from California to Columbus, Ohio when she was caught with 23 bales of pot (good doggy?). Now she is facing 40 years in prison and a $2 million fine.

Samsung’s Lee family is saying Lisette Lee is not a heiress of Samsung Electronics and is not a member of Samsung’s Lee family [statement].

SEOUL, South Korea–(BUSINESS WIRE)–Samsung issued the following statement regarding Lisette Lee:

“Contrary to some media reports, Lisette Lee is not an heiress of Samsung Electronics and is not a member of Samsung’s Lee family.”

Now it was easy to buy her story of being part of the Samsung fortune when she is flying around in a private jet. But now it’s official she is a grifter (money made dishonestly), how did she make it this far to be traveling in a private jet? I know a vag along with a deceiving mind goes a long way, but this far? Hold on to your wallets, remember its only a warm hole.

Splice’s Alternate Ending Played By Britney Spears

Melo — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 05:08:30 +0000

Their pitch was to have the clone (or whatever this thing is) seduce the caretaker to escape. After finding out there aren’t tampons that fit her, she goes on a Britney Spears type meltdown. She then grabs her stomach like she is going to throw up, which then menstrual blood gushes out of her mouth. The end.

You know they’re kicking themselves after a $7.3 million dollar opening for not using this ending.

Cleveland’s Last Ditch Effort for Lebron

Melo — Tue, 18 May 2010 08:47:23 +0000

This is a little sad (pathetic). With offers coming in from teams pretty much every major market and rumors of Lebron’s teammate laying next to his mom. Clevelander’s knew they had very little time before their king was gone. So they made this video…

Tiger Woods’ Nike Commercial Original Concept

Melo — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 03:00:36 +0000

Well done. This is Tiger Woods’ Nike commercial remixed with the voice mail he left one of the whores. Hey, its uh, its Tiger…

Conan’s Half Assed Comedy Tour

Melo — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 05:29:43 +0000

Conan O’brien has launched a comedy & music tour titled the “The Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television Tour.” All of the proceeds will go to his old staff. Which is nice, since NBC screwed over gave him $32.5 million.

If people didn’t watch Conan when he was free on TV, why would people pay almost $100 to watch him now?

You can get your tickets here.

Kim Kardashian’s Glove Does Not Fit

Melo — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 03:15:32 +0000

Incase you dont get it:

1. Kim’s dad was O.J.’s Lawyer

2. O.J. was acquitted because the glove did not fit

3. Kim’s glove does not fit

BONUS:

4. O.J. was awarded the Heisman trophy

5. Reggie Bush was awarded the Heisman trophy

Conclusion: ??????????

Photos: Flynet

George Bush Hates Black People

Melo — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 02:08:57 +0000

Easily the funnest president there ever was. They’re having way to much fun.

Giggity Girl – Laura Vandervoort (Giggity Greg)

Fat People That Look Like Animals (Muff Slap)

Gorilla Mask – Spank Bank: Theresa Correa (Gorilla Mask)

Oregon DUI Cheerleader Molly (Busted Coverage)

25 Well Trimmed Bushes (Holy Taco)

Star Wars Embedded Into American History (Caveman Circus)

EXCLUSIVE: Bachelor Villain Rozlyn Papa Purple Crayon Sex Tape (The Dirty)

This is Why Kim Kardashian is Famous

Melo — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 06:59:44 +0000

Once in a while you come across a picture that just makes you go ‘hmm how lucky would I have to be to catch a swiff’. Well this is it. Have her boobs been inhaling more CO2?

Chuck Liddell’s Commando Work Out w/ Hot Wife

Melo — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 06:32:50 +0000

Chuck Liddell works out naked in his home gym. How does he not get a stiffy with that babe in the room. That sweaty ass smell must be atrocious. Just a green mist that would make you go blind immediately from airborne contact. Either way she has nice tanned buns.

Motorola Replaces Megan Fox’s Midget Thumbs

Melo — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 06:40:55 +0000

You may have missed Megan Fox’s midget thumbs in the first Transformers, but the people at Motorola were not going to take a chance with their commercial that aired during the Superbowl. So they brought in a ugly girl with hot looking thumbs.

Jimmy Kimmel’s One, Two Jay Leno Punch

Melo — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 23:35:31 +0000

Rihanna on the Cover of GQ

Melo — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 21:33:29 +0000

I’m not into the “I’m prego hair cut” on women but here I’m undecided.

Kim Kardashian’s Carl’s Jr. Salad Commercial

Melo — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 21:07:33 +0000

This one definitely beats out Paris Hilton Carl’s Jr commercial. Do these commercials even work, because what guys eat salads? I guess all they want is for people to share it for how ridiculous it is.

Tony’s Alleged #6 Mistress

Melo — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 03:28:33 +0000

Katy Perry at the Grammy Thing

Melo — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 05:55:22 +0000

Katy Perry never caught my eye before. Oh, but has that changed. Having +2′s brings out the best in people.

Measurements

Bust: 32″ C
Waist: 24″
Hips: 35″
Height: 5 feet 8 inchs

Sofia Vergara Makes a Rape Joke

Melo — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 05:31:09 +0000

Hole: You are the single mother of a teenage son, who is 18.

Sofia: I can not lie about my age because they count.

Hole: Well you had him when you were 12.

Sofia: 13, I was raped. (Giggles)

Whoopi’s reaction is completely priceless.

To answer Barbra’s question, the only way to handle that is become gay or have perverted thoughts.

Seal Facials Heidi Klum

Melo — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 04:39:44 +0000

Well with a voice like that…

Hottest Women of the Food Network

Melo — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:10:25 +0000

There are two things we must have, food and sex. Here are some women that are good with at least one of those two things.

Claire Robinson

Host of 5 Ingredient Fix, where she cooks up dishes with 5 ingredients or less. Maybe being part french gives her that hot nerdy look.

Ingrid Hoffmann

Host of Simply Delicioso. Raised in Columbia, she hosts her own Spanish-language cooking and lifestyle show as well.

Nigella Lawson

Host of Nigella Feasts. She has been labeled “Queen of Food Porn” because of the way she presents food.

Aida Mollenkamp

Host of Ask Aida. Being part French and Italian is where she gets her looks from. I think we are on to something with the cute French nerdy look.

Sandra Lee

Host of Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee. She has sold more than 2.3 million books. There is no doubt she can feed a man.

Catherine “Cat” Cora

Known for being on Iron Chief and co-host of Kitchen Accomplished. She was featured in the September 2006 issue of FHM. Also has a Bachelor of Science degree in Exercise Physiology and Biology

Giada De Laurentiis

Host of Everyday Italian, Behind the Bash, Giada’s Weekend Getaways, Giada in Paradise, and Giada at Home. Born in Rome, Italy, Giada is a gorgeous women. I can’t assure through the TV, but she seems to have a great personality.

What Jimmy Fallon Needs

Melo — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 08:12:21 +0000

That is Artie Lange and Olivia Munn. A little ‘grown up’ comedy. It was dirty but they didn’t have to censor a single word. What kills it is when Jimmy tries to go back to the scripted interview. Just let it happen. What better way to promote yourself then showing everyone your humor and personality. Every time one of them tells a joke Jimmy looks like he’s about to shit himself, from the thought of being fired. This kind of engaging humor is what that show needs. I would tune in every night. But, they play stupid games like ping pong. Nobody wants to watch anyone play ping pong.

Here are some clips of the show.

Click here for more.

Babe: Mila Kunis Smoking Hot at the Emmy’s

Melo — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 08:39:23 +0000

Mila Kunis known as the voice of Meg on the Fox’s Family Guy and starring in the new movie Extract.

Measurements

Bust: 32? C
Waist: 25?
Hips: 32?
Height: 5 feet 3 inches

Hitler learns about Ellen Degeneres and American Idol

Melo — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 12:07:08 +0000

Like um Ellis Lanksder gets nervous

Melo — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 23:52:49 +0000

For a minute I thought it was a new Black Eyed Pea’s song.

Stevie Wonder is now on Twitter

Melo — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 23:40:16 +0000

Follow him @stevie00wonder.