Bad Melons » Episodes

Podcast 41: Onion Woody

Melo — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 14:22:20 +0000

We go over our babe of the month shoot. Black people can’t swim. Antonie Dodson makes a hit. All that and more on this show. Tell your friends and sisters.

The Story of Antoine Dodson

Podcast 40: I Forgot

Melo — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 11:14:18 +0000

I forgot what this show was about. Listen to find out. Otherwise enjoy this.

Podcast 39: Michelin Man

Melo — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 18:44:39 +0000

Quite a bit happened during this show. We had Justin from sportscracklepop.com call in. Talked about Lebron going to the Heat. We try to understand all the Lebron hate. I put up some new shirts up in the store. If you want the shirts for free go to badmelons.com/promote to find out how. 50 Tyson responds to our show in a very hostile manner. Chuck is delusional. I tell a story of how Chuck went store to store asking if anyone sold AK-47′s. Josh explains a few red neck games that make me question society. All that and more on the show. Link us to your friends!

Podcast 38: What a Clock Bock

Melo — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 11:26:31 +0000

Sparta messages a girl on Facebook on my account and basically ruined 3 years of me trying to seal the wheel. Ron Artest is a likable guy. Woman lights boyfriend on fire and consequently kills him and 3 other people. Josh’s hick uncle Tim scares of big foot in the North Carolina mountains. Miley, we apparently nobody cared about her snatch in a picture. All that and more on todays show.

Seattle Cop Can’t Control Teenage Girl

Jealous Lover Sets Boyfriend On Fire

Podcast 37: You’re a Big Meanie

Melo — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 11:48:41 +0000

I was told I’m an asshole.

Podcast 36: Sack Tapping

Melo — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 00:24:04 +0000

Lipstick lesbians (new word I learned) are mans best friend. Sack tapping is mean. Mullets are making a come back.

Sack tapping video

Podcast 35: Paris With Love

Melo — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 23:24:23 +0000

Last year’s X Games qualifier Paris Rosen comes on the show to talk about where he’s at with his career. He shines some light on exactly what went wrong with his front flip attempt and what changes he has made. Paris gets into what its like to pursue his dream with very little money. He also explains why he thinks he was able to build a name for himself so quickly. As well as discussing competition from future front flippers and riders who already have in the bag, like rider Jacko from Australia. But first we talk about my plans to start an A** Hair Cancer Foundation. Its for the kids.

Paris’s X Games front flip attempt.

Paris doing and interview with his shirt off.

**Warning if you are a first time listener, this podcast is definitely rated mature. So get your parents permission to listen first, boys and girls.

Podcast 34: Nascar Dreams

Melo — Mon, 31 May 2010 12:43:08 +0000

I present my dreams of becoming a Nascar driver. I will be buying a shifter kart and working my way up to the Nascar circuit. Josh finds out he and his teacher were not on the same page. The girl at the end of the How to get a date with Sparta John video cries after seeing the video (LMAO). Hooter’s girl gets told lose wait or beat it sister. The guy in the Kendra sex tape had his socks and was an extra in The Hills have Eyes.

Hooter’s Girl Weight Debate

Kendra Screen Shots (NSFW)

Kendra Video (NSFW)

Update: Former NASCAR Driver Arrested for Attempted Rape – My heart stopped when I read this headline.

Podcast 33: Vulva Juice

Melo — Fri, 28 May 2010 22:11:16 +0000

We find out what Vulva is about. It’s a vaginal scent that comes in a little vial and is sold for a very high price. We try to understand the point of this product, but I don’t think we come to a conclusion.

Bad Melons TV: How to Get a Date with Sparta John

Vulva Original (NSFW)

Podcast 32: Check My Album

Melo — Mon, 10 May 2010 12:28:19 +0000

Sparta John proudly admits to being shit on after finding out how we get our Babes of the Month’s. We learn about the ambitious 50 Tyson and his infamous rhymes. Slaying heavy’s. Dry humping hurts. Sparta John tells the story of how he became a tool. Chuck quietly plays with a roll of tape. Great show, tell your friends.

Update:

50 Tyson responds with a video.

Podcast 31: Jumbo Hearing

Melo — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 13:09:49 +0000

We discussed people who need to bump heavy bass at a stop light, while there is nothing you can do, but wish their whole family gets murdered. Everyone falls in love with Taylor, our babe of the month. We talk about the n-word. Immigration Bill gets both thumbs up and down.

Taylor, Babe of the Month for April

Adult Film Star Verifies Her Age, Saves Fan From 20 Years In Prison! (Radar Online)

Podcast 30: Hindu Salesman

Melo — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 23:16:25 +0000

I got dooped into being a sucker. Good thing I brought Andy along to be a sucker with me. It was an entertaining experience watching a room full of 63 hindu’s trying to convince people they can create passive income by selling the “#2 energy” drink in America. Which I have never heard of by the way. We explain everything that happened on the show.

Podcast 29: Prairie Holocaust

Melo — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 13:45:39 +0000

Talk about killing prairie dogs and playing with snakes. Chuck apologizes for last week’s comment about being able to get any girl. Jesse James posing as hitler and Michelle Bombshell. Tiger paid mistress $10 Mil to STFU and other inertesting talk. Leave comments and tell your friends! Thanks for listening!

Podcast 28: Disaster Part 28

Melo — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 03:40:43 +0000

We play the Bad Melons TV – Sparta John Loses His Mind video. We explain what happened before all of that went down. How much of an idiot I am for not understanding what it means when a girl asks for your apartment number at 3:00 a.m.

Podcast 27: Click Fraud

Melo — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 12:45:39 +0000

People hate, people love. But we love you all. Especially people who burn calories putting our show down. We talk about unfriendly podcasts. One little indian, two little indians, four. Must listen to.

Podcast 26: Fat Club Suicide

Melo — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 07:24:49 +0000

I will soon get my braces off and able to talk to at least some decent looking girls. Fat people at clubs suck. Playing suicide is fun when you are alone. More on the comedy podcast. Dude…

Podcast 25: Bang in the Car

Melo — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 11:53:51 +0000

How hard is it to bang in a car? Banging in a car stories. A killer whale actually did some killing. A lot more discussed on our comedy podcast.

For first time listeners, I recommend podcast 24.

Podcast 24: Never Trust Craig

Melo — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 07:56:20 +0000

We talk about Chuck’s intimate connection with the Valentine hook up. How did he not know it was fake? Will Chuck make an attempt to get Melo back for humiliating him and making him believe there was actually a girl that wanted him? We get into Bad Melons Babe of the Month for February. Hot damn! Kevin Smith is NOT to fat to fly. The Olympics suck, who is watching?

Sorry, show footage got lost. So play on playa!

Podcast 23: Craiglisting for Valentine

Melo — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 21:52:25 +0000

I try to get chuck to talk some game to a girl from craigs list who clearly wants smash on valentine’s day. Chuck completely drops the ball.

Chuck’s almost slutty valentine.

Podcast 22: Cheating Stephenie

Melo — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 16:33:02 +0000

Honestly don’t know what happened. I think we decided it was a good idea at one point to start a motorcycle indoors.

Podcast 21: I Heart Kesha

Melo — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 07:32:42 +0000

Ke$ha’s new single will not be a hit, but she is a hot mess. We talk about our babe of the month. Shitty facebook friends who comment on stupid status updates. Leeroy Jenkins goes to prison for 15+ years. The iPad sucks giant sharp edged cubes. Gay superbowl commercial is gay but not in the homo way. Strip clubs are so, so stupid.

Podcast 20: Parkour on Acid

Melo — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 01:21:05 +0000

We try to get into how the Babes of the Month photo shoot in Payson will be a disaster. But then somehow start talking about Sam’s and Danny’s fun trip running through the woods in Payson. Sam gets visibly offend when asked if his dad is a jew, when mentioned he lived in a gated community.

Podcast 19: The Playoffs

Melo — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 22:44:28 +0000

Why is there so much hate for 2009. Do people really think their life will get any less shittier in 2010? Who has heard year of ’010. Mark is moving to L.A. The best football season in a long time.

Podcast 18: New Boob for Old Men

Melo — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 07:46:50 +0000

Back for the New Year funny as ever. Demingo joins us. Also how old her boyfriend is. How do you get a girl like her. We find out she doesn’t like guys that are pussies but enjoys eating out the peach. Subscribe on iTunes!

Audio in the video goes out half way through but comes back after a couple minutes. The audio version is 100%, so listen to that so you don’t miss a word.

What a douche.

I meant to say facebook.com/badmelons at the end of the show.

Podcast 17: Dopediction

Melo — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 08:37:30 +0000

$115 for an event and still getting bombarded with ads? WTF? Facebook party picture photoshop fakes. Dustin talks about his whole drug ordeal and how he dealt with it. We start a website called dopedick.com to help heroin addicts get over dope dick. Which leads to other business ventures. We try to figure out if Tru TV’s bait car show is real or not.

iGun video

Podcast 16: Pageant Tapes

Melo — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 07:10:11 +0000

Carrie Prejean has a solo sex tape. It was a mother and daughter viewing party. Apparently there are 40 of these tapes. We get an update on the Elizabeth Lambert situation from someone who goes to UNM. Chimp women looks horrifying. 2012 movie looks terrible. COD 6 airport level kind of weird. The drama begins and it’s good.

Podcast 15: Fagikaze

Melo — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:57:02 +0000

Gays get AIDS on purpose? I think I might have H1N1. Hot cheerleader turns retard after taking flu shot. But when she runs she becomes normal again. Three new comedian to the show. Danny explain his dad’s dream. And a lot more, we filled up a 1.25 hours of great content.

[Video up soon]

Cheerleader with Dystonia

Cowboys cheerleader as Lil’ Wayne

Podcast 14: Halloween Special 2009

Melo — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 10:30:03 +0000

We have a zombie and fortune teller expert call in. Fred tells us how to avoid and fight zombies. Fred also tells us when is it safe to teabag zombies and how to out run them. We then talk to a fortune teller about fortune telling. We get into the ins and outs of all life’s secrets.

Podcast 13: Too Fat to Ride

Melo — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 03:06:49 +0000

I witnessed a fat lady denied a roller coaster ride. We go off the grid for most of the show. A bit too racial.

Podcast 12: Holy Water Flame Thrower

Melo — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 09:37:28 +0000

Paranormal Activity was not that scary, but I couldn’t sleep for days. How to fight demons? Balloon boy was a hoax. Balloon boy’s dad busted on the hoax. David Letterman pretty cool guy.

Links:

Removing Bot Flies

Ballon Boy Slips Up

Ballon Boy’s dad gets defensive

Podcast 11: IHOP Diet

Melo — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 22:45:00 +0000

My trip to Lubbock, TX. My horrible service at IHOP. The new TV series Cougar Town and will fat divorced women now be prowling the streets. Is the part time Muslim model hot? AnthoKills has a mishap with the girlfriend. Should he still be with her?

Podcast 10: Sexy Oprah

Melo — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 23:47:48 +0000

Smoking weed contraptions. Why do people hate on oprah. 15 yr old shoots his penis off. It’s all fun and games till someone gets drunk. Wait wait wai wa w…

Podcast 9: AIDS with Blow Jobs

Melo — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 08:15:18 +0000

Super entertaining show. One of the best shows ever. Talk about how Cardinals lost and were never going to black out the broadcast. Man kills girl friend for giving him HIV. We argue about blow jobs. Is anal sex gross? How to get a girl friend.

Podcast 8: Califire

Melo — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 16:46:30 +0000

What kind of punishment should the guy that started the California fires get? Parents pull kids out of class because of Obama speech. Duggar’s family oldest son didn’t kiss till he was married. 16 yr old blows 3 million dollars in 3 years. Most of it on coke. Dad kicks son’s ass for wearing rival gang colors.

Duggar Family http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tqy1q0Qibrs

Montel Williams http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAuR_mBEKdE

Podcast 7: 2 Vaginas 1 Girl

Melo — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 06:30:21 +0000

Jenkins gets confused for a celebrity murderer. Nurses have sex with convicted rapist in hospital’s mental ward. Rapist has major game. Female teacher pays 15 yr old student $1,500 for sex. I talk about how I pimped my teachers in high school. Women has 2 vagina’s and has period for 21 days a month. Miss Universe is a good pick. Man gets naked and jumps on cars in a gas station parking lot. Midgets want to ban the word midget. Fat guy goes off on haters.

Video of the fat guy going nuts -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXjhgiIn1z8

Podcast 6: Whats your race?

Melo — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 09:12:35 +0000

I can’t get a word in. Co-hosts admit they are anti-America! Mr. jones dodges a dodge ram accident and blind date. Super racial issues get discussed. No disagreements get resolved. Is Megan Fox hot or a tom boy? Vodka tampons destroy vaginas. Who’s fault is it for anal sex? Beer pong in the ass, wtf? 15 yr old pimp, pimps teachers. I get dissed by a mom.

Podcast 5: Retard Fight Club

Melo — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 07:08:40 +0000

This episode was a blast. We go through how America needs to chill out on Michael Vick. He paid the debt to society. Kid brings gun to school to shoot principal for A’s and longer recess. Guy has sex with a horse and gets caught TWICE. Guy fakes retardation so that a dumb girl can wipe his ass and pays her $600 a week. Fat guy sneaks handgun in jail by hiding it in his fatness. Retard death match at the end.

Sorry video got lost again. I know, I know I’m just as pissed as you are. Won’t happen again. Love you.

Make sure to sign up for the forums and comment on this weeks episode.

Also, sound quality blows on this episode. We recorded on a new computer, don’t know what happened. Our past episodes sound professional. Will be better.

Podcast 4: Look like a Navaho

Melo — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 14:24:02 +0000

Action packed episode. Brian Foster, J Lo, and S Grant on tonights show. Talk about the fetish Japanese porn magazine Brian got me when he was in an airport in Japan. We explore how ridiculously hairy their c***s are. Guy blames downloading kitty porn on his cat. Billy Mays is a coke head. Stupid College grads. Game nerd turn demon after mom deletes World of Warcraft account. Funny bullshit at the end.

Sorry video got messed up some how, but you can listen to the audio.

Podcast 3: Strip Searched

Melo — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 06:46:04 +0000

Great show with Brian Foster, Nathan Black, and Terror Boy. We talked about their trip tubing down the salt river and girls flashing their titties. Rip on a girl who fell in a man hole while texting. Go on about the Askmen.com 2009 survey. Getting strip search by doctors. Terror Boy raps.

Podcast 2: Thai on Time

Melo — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 17:05:21 +0000

This was the end result of waiting for a Thaiwanese girl to do the show for 9 hours at 3:30am and leaving 20 mins into it, abruptly. Then we get into the fagget who keyed my car. Non-stop callers. Brian pays more attention to the girl then the show. They walk out and I lose my shit.

Podcast 1: Learn Talking

Melo — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 09:01:47 +0000

Our first show couldn’t have gone any better. We go over the review of the transformers movie from The Amazing Atheist. Then try to go over the ridiculous review from Harry Allen at All Hip Hop.com about the transformers movies and its plot to deceive all black people, but Jimmy and Brian completely lose interest and start dicking around with each other. I talk about my trip to New York City and how I found a gun store in the airport.